So Many Talents

A little over 4 years ago, I took on a role that would forever change my life. I didn’t have much experience, and that was OK because it turns out the position was entry-level. No college degree required. School is overrated in our society anyway. Most things you need to know you learn on the job. And that’s just what happened for me. I knew there would be many hats I would have to wear. I just never knew I would have to wear oh so many hats at one time and be on call 24/7 (with little to no experience and education).

I was a bit reluctant.

I really had to learn fast.  And I did.  I am still learning.

And not to sound cocky, but I am doing a pretty decent awesome job.  I’ve discovered I have many talents inside of me I never knew existed.  I bet you possess some of the same talents I do and don’t even know it.  I hear there are plenty of opportunities.  So, if you are interested, you should consider it.  Since no one really told me what to expect with the position (aside from the lack of sleep), I’ll give you a heads up.  Here are some of the hats you will wear:

  1.  Milk maker.  This will be your first test.  Be ready for the challenge.  It doesn’t always come naturally at first and you may go through periods of pain.  You will not realize that you have this liquid gold in you but you do.  And it is by far a love/hate relationship.  There will be hard ass days when you say you want to quit so bad.  My advice, “This too shall pass.”  And keep on truckin’ err, milkin’.
  2. Nurse.  You will learn how to apply appointment, take rectal temps, clean around a scary looking belly button, change smelly diapers about every couple of hours, and take care of your bottom that is still healing.  Don’t worry, you got this.
  3. Night watchman.  You will be on guard for a while.  This isn’t for the faint of heart.  You will have to pull from your reserves with everything you got.  Your sleep will one day be restored.  Somewhat.  This is part of the role that never goes away.  Sorry.
  4. Researcher.  You will start to do research on Google and other websites to see if certain symptoms and behaviors are normal.  This is par for the course.  You will do this a lot.  Probably on a weekly basis.
  5. Housekeeper.  You will have to tidy the house because it will get messy quickly.  With not enough rest from your night watchman duties, this will be one of those things you will have to squeeze in when you can.  And it will suck because chores must get done.  Unless you contract out for this.  Which, you totally could.
  6. Chef.  Yeah, unfortunately you will figure out how to make more things than just mac n’ cheese.
  7. Bookkeeper.  This will be a side function.  You will want to make sure you have enough finances for everything.  This is a big one that goes unnoticed.
  8. Event planner.  Bet you are wondering why, right?  Well, someone has to plan the birthday parties and other festivities.  Don’t worry, it’s not that bad.  This one can be fun.
  9. Photographer.  Because pictures are forever.  This one you can contract out as well if you totally suck at it.  15919b48-ade7-4695-a5bc-7a9289f11236
  10. Counselor/therapist.  As time goes on, you will wish you did have more of a psych background.  Just use your best judgement and all should be fine, right?
  11. Nutritionist.  You will start to read labels for scary things lurking in that box of ‘fruit’ snacks.  Yellow #5?  Probably not so good.
  12. Seamstress.  Holes will be made.  Buttons will come off.  Yep.  Best to keep needles and thread handy… just out-of-the-way of curious hands.
  13. Coach.  When your on the sidelines you have to inspire.
  14. Teacher.  This is a given.  They learn from watching you.  Good or bad.
  15. Interior Decorator.  Because someone has to choose the bedding for the nursery and what color to paint the walls, what the theme will be.  You will also want to invest in a good brand of cordless blackout blinds.  Heck, you get to decorate the whole house!  Another fun one.
The list fun is pretty endless.  There is a whole gamut of other duties that unfortunately, yes, may go unnoticed.  One thing for sure — you will NEVER be bored.  You will ALWAYS have something to do.  If this all sounds good to you, then you are totally ready to tackle MOTHERHOOD!