Everything changes. Good or bad, easy or hard. One thing certain in this life is change will come. As a mother, you have to experience changes that you aren’t often ready for. The changes come quickly, from learning how to soothe your newborn, to fighting with your preschooler to wear underwear. It seems change is always on the rise when you are a mom.
Don’t blink, though, don’t blink. The days, while they can drag on and some days seem longer than others, the years, the years are but a fleet of time.
I have experienced two newborn phases and am in the midst of rearing my second toddler. I have changed as a second-time mom; less patience; more confidence; more tough love. While I am still me, I am in so many ways not.
Going into this whole motherhood thing I had no idea what type of mom I’d be. I didn’t want to be an overprotective mom because I was raised by one. And the very thing I said I wouldn’t be – I am. I cannot help but mother the way I do. Motherhood has come so naturally for me, it is clear it was what I was destined for. And yet, I often wonder what type of mother I will be when my girls are less reliant on me. Will I be able to accept the changes as they move on to the many phases of their lives: the teenage years, and young adulthood? I feel my mother struggled with that.
There are an incredible amount of things my girls have yet to experience. I feel like I can control what they are exposed to now, as they are so young and under my care. But, as they grow, I lose that control. And rightfully so, because it is their life to live. Motherhood feels right on me right now. “I got this” is definitely a slogan I would chant. Will I be so confident another five, heck even ten years down the road? Will the level of comfort I have now as a mom be just as strong then? I don’t know.
The seasons change on their own, without much effort. From fall to winter, from spring to summer – it all flows smoothly. Just when you get comfortable with summer, the leaves start to turn bright orange and you know change is coming. You smell it in the air, you feel it your bones. I hope as my girls grow into teenagers I will be able to offer them my wisdom, not just as a mother, but as a former teen myself. I hope that I can transition easily into what it is they need. I pray I can be the mom they need with each season of their life. I want to always be able to relate to them, to be able to have open and honest conversations with them.
I have heard other mothers say, “they will always be your babies.” I agree. I just don’t want to underestimate their worth by seeing them in my eyes as the babies they once were and will (at that point) no longer be. I want to accept the passing of time and to not get stuck in the way I see them in my mind’s eye.
My preschooler at times acts beyond her young age, which shakes me a bit. It gives me a sense of what will be, and it is a little scary. I tell myself she is growing up. And maybe kids do grow up faster nowadays. I just want to be ready, or even a bit ahead, of the change that will inevitably be.
I do believe there are seasons in motherhood: the season of baby, the season of child, the season of teen, the season of young adult. I pray I can be the best mother for all seasons.