Like most little girls, my 4-year-old is heavily into all the Disney movies; Ariel and Elsa are her favorite princesses, and she seems to enjoy watching Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs the most. I was a child of the 80s and Disney movies like these (where the prince always rescues the damsel in distress) just didn’t exist. This leads me to wonder what her little mind makes of these characters.
The other day she questioned why I married her daddy. She said, “Mama, you get mad at Dada, so why did you marry him?” A loaded question for a young 4-year-old. Yes, it’s true. She witnesses her parents getting upset with one another, but she also sees us make up. I feel it’s healthy for our children to see that life isn’t perfect, and that her parents aren’t perfect – because we are not. Nobody, and no relationship is.
“I married your daddy because I love him. Sometimes people who love each other get upset with one another. It doesn’t mean we love one another any less, it just means we let the other person know how we feel.” She went onto say that one day she will be married, and she wants to marry her sister. I told her that we don’t marry our sisters, or any other family members for that matter.
In the Disney world, most of the time, the mother is non-existent. Does anyone else find this odd? The father is usually the only parental figure and the prince takes the princess (or soon-to-be princess) away from her somewhat unhappy life that only the prince can make better. What a bunch of hogwash? Am I right? I don’t want her to believe this is how relationships work. I don’t want her to believe that relationships just involve dancing, hugs and kisses, as they are portrayed in the classic Disney movies. I want her to witness the ups and downs of relationships, so when the time comes for her first love, she isn’t blind sided. Life is hard. Relationships are just as hard. Life isn’t always rainbows, so why sugarcoat it for our kids.
I want both of my girls to understand that we are all flawed. Disney is good for her now, since she is 4-years-old, and she still believes in magic – like fairies and Prince Charming. But, one day, when she is a bit older, I will have to introduce her to the Lifetime Channel. I mean come on, Lifetime is where it’s at to teach your kid the fundamentals of relationships. Am I right?